I remember when I was pregnant with my first child 7 years ago, I was over the moon and so excited to become a mum. 1 month later, my own mother was diagnosed with bone cancer. The news hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water. I was devastated. I just couldn’t believe this was happening to me. It took me some time before it really sank in. And I became angry. Angry because I thought it was unfair, that life was unfair, and that I didn’t deserve it. I asked God, “why is this happening and why now? Just when I was expecting my first child. I should be focusing on my baby, worry about nothing else and just be happy!” But that’s how life is. Unpredictable. Even unfair. What could I do? I had a choice. Either stay angry and remain stuck on the why or turn to God for comfort and strength. I chose the latter. And I can say now that was the best decision.
God sustained me during that time. Psalm 27: 1(NLT), “The lord is my light and my salvation, so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?” helped me to remain calm and keep my trust in God, while psalm 27:10 (NLT) “ Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close” greatly comforted me as deep in my heart, I was really scared of losing my mum before the arrival of my baby. God was present each day and He gave me strength to wake up every morning to go to work, visit my mum at the hospital when she was having chemotherapy and preparing for the arrival of our baby.
Still, my emotions were like a roller coaster. One moment, I was happy thinking about the baby and the next I was crying thinking of my mum. I had scary thoughts about her and had to refocus on the scriptures and trust God. It was a daily battle, but every time I turned to God, He filled me with His presence and filled my heart with His peace. His word gave me the courage to face life and to keep going. He was faithful. He kept my baby and me safe throughout the nine months and I had a normal delivery.
Right now, life may seem unfair due to the covid19 and its effects on every person’s life. You may be disappointed, discouraged, angry, even scared. Please rest assured that God is with you and He loves you. He is present even when everything seems out of control, unfair and unsurmountable. Sometimes, you may not feel his presence and that’s ok. But He is still there. Dive into His word, look for His promises, believe and hold onto them in your heart. Keep good courage and wait patiently for the Lord. You may never understand all the why and the how of your circumstances, but you can trust Him. God is your refuge, your fortress and your shield. He will comfort you and carry you through the end. He is a faithful God. Be brave and courageous.